25 years is a long time to wait
So long desiring, trying,
failing
I wanted to do it right
I thought it would
just had to wait

25 years is a long time
to be barred from right
rejected
forced to block the river
from its natural course
a dam holding back the pressure

25 years is a long time
to identify with rejection
to be disconnected, ignored
I grow, flourish
too little, too late
too old, no way

Never is a long time
to be teased, tortured
within arms reach of the door
left cold
watching others ride away on the train
I was destined for

Never is a long time
to be cut by the ice
continuously stabbed through
falling in dark slow motion
while they laugh
on the other side of the glass

Never is a long time
to hold back the river
to keep it from exploding
it rots inside
I'm just surviving, not thriving
uninspired, hanging on

The world keeps turning
people keep working,
eating, sleeping, laughing, playing
while I in the corner
slowly bleed
alone
one drop at a time
no one sees
I cannot move
life drains away

When I'm gone
none will be able to say
I didn't leave a trail of my soul
I tried to express as best I could, but
did anyone see?
did anyone hear?

Where can I go?
What can I do?
I've tried all I know
but no where
can I find
someone like me

lost
stuck
crazy
broken
hooked
trapped
confused
uncertain
frustrated

cool wind blows
another year is almost passed

days go by turn into years
I imagine I'll move on

but I'm still here

I hate myself
when I can't help myself
when I feel this way
I don't have my way
can't control me
I can't stop
another bad decision
another mistake
it's all I can fake
want it all to end
need a true friend
tearing down everything
I want to scream
let it all out
but there's no release
trapped in me
want to be free
from the pain

Your touch is betrayal
Your embrace is deception
So warm and close
makes the desertion more bitter
You smile while you bite
prick your needle
inject the poison
slow death while still alive
turning cold and frozen
from the inside out
You smile as your blade
sinks into my chest
I try to understand
what's going on
All I know is pain
without healing

I wish I could
fulfill all your hopes and dreams
make them come to pass

I wish I could
take away all your fears and doubts
push all the bad so far

I wish I could
always put that smile on your face
and light up your eyes

I wish I could
hold you close, say what you need
wipe the tear, be your cheer

I will fail you
I can't fulfill you
I can't give you everything

Why do I want
you to want me too
if I think I'll disappoint you?

Still I love you
I desire what's good for you
It will make me smile too

Someday, sometime
I hope you'll allow me to
seek what's good for you

Let me love you
I want to show you how
what it's like to be loved

You're over there
so far away
why are you always
so far away?
you're right here
so far away
why are you looking
the other way?

near, far
never closer
today, tomorrow
always distance

Your love
so sweet
From him
defeat
your eyes
still there
you cry
you swear

I'm always here
you rarely care
why do I try
why don't you see
why don't you like
why don't you want
me?

Walking alone in your heart
jaded by the latest desertion
can you let it go and start
open up to a wonderful solution?

I notice you walking by
can't ignore you if I try
start walking along to say "hi"
will you look in my eye?

recite a verse there's some confusion
about what to make of this intrusion
be annoyed and go on your way
or allow me to make your day

walking together hand in hand
this was always in my plan
we could smile now happily
make it last indefinitely