A number of things have recently combined to become a catalyst for me to improve. One is, I've been exposed to some really strong, pro-level musicians in a close setting and repeatedly over a span of a couple of years. Second, I tried to audition for a couple of bands this spring. I think I did ok on bass, but guitar... I've played guitar for years, and while I know I'm not a lead player nor the most skilled guitarist out there, I thought that I was decent. I thought I had played some relatively difficult parts before. I know I haven't been playing guitar much over the last several years, but I didn't think I was that rusty. For whatever reason, I felt like I couldn't play the guitar at all during these auditions. I mean I thought I sounded horrible, and so I certainly don't expect anyone to have been impressed. I don't know if the bar has just been raised or what, but I really recognized I wasn't up to par.

In addition to that, one of my band mates posted this quote: "Amateurs practice until they get it right; Professionals practice until they can't get it wrong." This in combination with being exposed to good musicians in combination with my friend Jerimae talking about playing everyday, all combined to make things sort of click in me head. I know I've heard the phrase "practice makes perfect" and such for forever. I knew learning to play something required practice. But I guess I couldn't see the end goal. Now I can see the goal is not just being able to play something, but being able to play it well. It probably would have helped to know all of this 17 years ago when I first started.

Another thing recently came up which is interrelated. I read someone talking about 5 and 10 year goals. Now, I've heard things like this before too, but I've never really thought about them. You see, I recognized that I've been trying to do everything now, or at least as soon as possible. There's good reason for this: I've felt like I've been coming from behind all this time. It seems most musicians get there start as kids. I picked up guitar when I graduated high school. Most musicians have already been in a band or two by this point. My first real playing in a band experiences came about seven years later. Add to this the fact that I've had struggled to find steady work all this time. So through most all of my adult life, I haven't been in a place where I felt content and established enough to think about longer term plans. It's mainly always been "What can I do now?" or at most, "What can I do in the next few months/this year?" I haven't had a way of doing any more.

Anyway, I read where someone (Neil Cole I think) said that we over estimate what we can do in a year, and under estimate what we can do in five or ten years. I've been thinking about this in terms of my music playing. I may not be where I want right now, and I may know that I can't get there even in a year. But if I keep practicing, then eventually I'll improve and I'll be at least much closer to where I want to be. So I try not to get discouraged feeling like I can't play well at all at the moment, and trust that if I keep at it, I'll be there eventually.

Now if I could only figure out the rest of my life...