The kind that will treat you right. The kind that searches for you with all his heart. The kind that respects you and adores you.

Every girl needs a man who won’t cheat on her. One who can be trusted in a room full of beautiful girls. Because he’s smart enough to know that he already has a girl who has everything that he wants, needs and more.

The right guy will never leave you lonely and wondering. You will always know where you stand with him. He will be your best friend and lover. He’ll call you early in the morning just to say good morning or late at night to say good night and maybe even tell you a bedtime story to make you laugh or talk to you until you fall asleep.

This guy will be the kind that’ll do anything for you, even if it’s just to go to the store to buy you your favorite ice cream. He’ll buy you flowers just because it’s a Wednesday and will notice your hair when you’ve gotten it cut or have gotten all gussied up specifically for him.

You deserve a guy who will cherish you. He’d never be afraid to smile to his friends when you’re around and tell them, “She’s the one”. He’d appreciate you for the things you do for him, even if they’re little… like the little love notes you leave him.

He’ll be chivalrous. He’ll wait for you when you’re falling behind, open doors for you and will walk you to the door to make sure you get in safely. He would defend and fight for you and never bail on you when you needed him most.

The right guy will call you beautiful instead of hot, he’ll kiss your forehead when you’re down and he’ll be the one who will love you for everything you are.

Never settle for anything less

Ok, boys, it’s not that hard.  I’ve lost faith in the male gender.  So what does a girl want?  Not much.  But it seems like the effort is no longer even there.  It’s the small things that matter most:

• Buy her a flower for no reason.  Come on, they’re $3 at [the grocery store].
  
• Call her at work- just to let her know you’re thinking about her.
  
• Surprise her by not letting her know where you’re taking her on your date, and then take her to her favorite places.
  
• Hold her hand when you go for a walk
  
• Make her dinner, turn down the lights, light the candles.
  
• Make her a cd of all the songs that remind you of how you feel about her
  
• Dance with her to soft music by only the light of the candles
  
• Write her a love letter.  Stick it in her purse/briefcase/under the windshield wiper of her car.
  
• Give her a back-rub when she’s had a bad day
  
• If you can, take her on a relaxing weekend getaway-stay in a cabin in the mountains or whatever will be romantic for the two of you.
  
• Her favorite music act is coming to town.  You can’t stand them.  Go anyway.  OR surprise her with a ticket and the fact that her best friend has the seat next to her.
  
• Allow her to be “just one of the guys” every once in awhile
  
• Kiss her good morning.  Kiss her good night.
  
• If you don’t have the money to take her on a bona-fide date, just spend time with her, cuddle, and listen to music.
  
• Don’t assume she wouldn’t enjoy a good live basketball/baseball/football game.
  
• On that note, take the time to explain the game if she’s attempting to watch it on tv with you.
  
• Don’t forget to remind her you think she’s beautiful, even when she just wakes up and feels like she’s a mess.
  
• Don’t ever stop pursuing and dating.  10, 15, 50 years down the road, keep a “date night” just for the two of you.
  
• Vacuuming the house is not “doing something for her.”  It’s your house too.
  
• Don’t ever lie to her.  Trust is one of the biggest issues for women.

So, you’re a guy.  You’re probably thinking “what’s in it for me?”  First of all, that’s the point- don’t expect anything in return.  However, if you give, I’m bound to believe you’ll begin to get also, if you don’t already.  If nothing else, you’ll have a happy girlfriend/fiancé/wife who knows you care and think about her.  And from the understanding I have of the way we are, all we want is to know that you think about us.  And these are only some of the things that show us that you do.  It’s not all about how much money you spend.  Who’s to say you have to spend any at all?  If you don’t agree with me, that’s fine.  This is just a little advice from a girl… to offer you a little insight into what most of us wish for.

To every guy that cooks dinner for her.
To every guy that regrets hurting her.
To every guy who knows which girl he wants.
To every guy that’s said, “Sex can wait.”
To every guy that’s said, “You’re beautiful.”
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.
To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.
To every guy who has given her flowers just because.
To every guy that said he would die for her.
To every guy that really would.
To every guy that did what she wanted to do.
To every guy that cried in front of her.
To every guy that she cried in front of.
To every guy that holds hands with her.
To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
To every guy that hugs her when she’s sad.
To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.
To every guy who would give their jacket up.
To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to be able to see her for 10 minutes.
To every guy that would give his seat up.
To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.
To every guy who told his secrets to her.
To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.
To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
To every guy that believed in her dreams.
To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.
To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.
To every guy that walked her to her car.
To every guy that wasn’t just trying to get laid.
To every guy that actually listened.
To every guy that gave his heart only to have it shoved back in his face.
TO EVERY GUY THAT PRAYS THAT SHE IS HAPPY EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT WITH HER.
This one is for you…

Not all girls appreciate good guys. There aren't many left out there…

Who can wrestle with me and let me win.

Who I can talk to about anything..

Who laughs at my jokes..

A boy who puts my cold hands in his warm hoodie pockets..

Who lets me use his sweatshirt for a pillow..

Who buys me 25 cent rings..

Who will kiss me in the rain, in the sunshine, and in the snow..

Who calls unexpectedly..

Who will have many inside jokes with me and remember each one..

A boy who notices that I got my hair cut..

Who realizes that I say things but don't always mean them..

Who I can go swimming with on hot days..

Who can tell me his problems and let me try to help..

Who will listen to me talk-- about the new nail polish I got..

Who will bring me seashells from the beach..

Who will let me "beat him up" when I get angry..

Who writes love letters to me, and isn't afraid to give them to me..

Who draws pictures and leaves them somewhere random for me to find..

Who knows my favorite color, song, car, vegetable, perfume and the color of my toothbrush..

A boy who will shake my dads hand and look my mother in the eyes..

Who will call me by my full name--first, middle and last..

Who pretends not to remember my birthday but ends up surprising me with something special..

A boy who will let me cry to him..

Who will squeeze my hand when were out to let me know that he loves me..

Who surprises me and compliments my manicure..

A boy who plays with my hair..

Who knows when I have a math test or when I fail one..

Who tells me I have a nice laugh and a smile that light up the room..

A boy who will sing to me to make me feel better..

A boy who remember the little things I say..

Who acts the same around his friends as he does around me..

A boy who isn't afraid to tell people how he feels about me..

A boy who I can call in the middle of the night because I had a bad dream..

Who will invite me over, just to play games..

Who will laugh with me if I make a fool out of myself in front of everyone..

A boy who will go dancing with me, in the rain..

A boy who will go to the arcade with me..

Who will watch Disney cartoons with me, because they make me laugh..

A boy who calls me right after I leave, to make sure I got home ok..

Who won't get mad, if I say something stupid..

Who will text me right before I go to sleep, just to say goodnight and when I wake up to say good morning..

A boy who sends me letters in the mail..

Who will go with me to the mall, because I wanted a new belt..

Who will visit me at work..

A boy who will tell me whats on his mind, if he's sad..

A boy who I can go to the park with, and will push me on the swings..

A boy who will knows that no one is perfect..

Who will make me things, and expect that I use them..

Who will bring me around his buddies..

A boy who will be random with me..

Who will carry on long conversations will me about nothing..

A boy who will not only kiss me on the lips, but my checks, forehead, hands, etc..

A boy who will tells me he loves me randomly..

A boy who will come to see me in the middle of the night because he couldn't stop thinking about me..

A boy who will hold me from behind and put his hands around my waist..

A boy who will like me for who I am, and not want me to change..

I want a boy...

Who will expect me to do the same!!!

I'm the guy who will text you every single morning and tell you good morning and every single night to tell you sweet dreams.

I'm the guy who will text you and tell you "I miss you and wish you were here" just because.

I'm the guy who will blindfold you, take you to the beach and let you run your toes through the sand then make you guess where we are.

I'm the guy who will show up at your games (or competitions or meets) without you knowing just to surprise you.

I'm the guy who will hold you when you're crying and wipe away your tears.

I'm the guy who still thinks you're beautiful with no makeup on, wearing sweats and a big t-shirt.

I'm the guy who won't pressure you to do things you dont want to.

I'm the guy who will show up at your house with soup and a movie when you aren't feeling well.

I'm the guy who kisses you on the forehead.

I'm the guy who actually listens to you when you talk.

I'm the guy who's excited all day because im looking forward to our date that night.

I'm the guy who is content to just be able to hold you and wants nothing more.

I'm the guy who can't help but smile when you walk into the room.

I'm the guy who's perfectly content with staying in and watching movies and cuddling.

I'm the guy who won't lie to you about where he's going or where he's been or who he's been with.

I'm the guy who will bring you to chill with my friends and to parties to show you and the world I love you and want to share those moments.

I'm the guy who's not afraid to tell his friends how much he likes you.

I'm the guy who isn't always trying to act like a hard ass around you.

I'm the guy who doesn't care about your imperfections and loves you more for them.

I'm the guy who will hold you while we watch the sunset.

I'M THE GUY WHO REALLY WANTS TO MAKE YOU THE HAPPIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD.

0. There are always exceptions to this list. The foundational exception is when you actually talk to the her and she says something different than what is included within this list. These suggestions don't provide you with the holy grail of dating or offer you the Ten Commandments for the Ladies Man, they're simply a push in the right direction for being a gentleman.

1. Open doors when possible - whether it be to a building or the passenger car door; it's the classic example that's stood the test of time.

2. When in a place of worship (or other places that have aisles and pews), if a man is at the end of the pew, when exiting he should stand in the aisle and let all the females go before him. (This seems odd to some people, yet normal for others. If you don't get it, don't worry about it, okay?)

3. A man should tolerate the occasional chick flick, musical, opera, or ballet - whatever her preference is - *without* complaining about it! (Because the guy may just like it.)

4. Play one of the songs that would make any woman weep like the little girl she once was (but in a good way). A brief list includes, but certainly isn't limited, to:
"You & Me" by Lifehouse
Anything by Frank Sinatra
Any rendition of "Everything I Do, I Do it for You"
"Collide" by Howie Day
"Out Of My League" by Steven Speaks
And MOST IMPORTANTLY "Question" by the Old 97's (if you propose to a girl with this song, she is putty in your hands).
("Putty in your hands" is not meant to promote "using women" in any way. This group does not encourage guys to be polite in order to get her into bed.)

5. Talk! The strong & silent bit goes from intriguing to boring quite fast.

6. Find out what her favorite flower is and buy them for her randomly (regardless of the situation you might be in). A simple yet profound truth: a single rose says more than dozens of anything else. (I encourage the women to not allow a guy to "prove himself worthy" through gifts and flowers and such. Trust is a precious thing and it should take a good chunk of time before he gains it back in your heart.)

7. If you miss her, or love her, TELL HER! Even your friends like to hear it every now & again.

8. Re-enact Zales commercials (the ice is nice but certainly not mandatory).

9. Remember: the best gifts you can give are usually free of cost.

10. Leave a note (or send a message) just to say "hi".

11. Ask her questions about herself.

12. Dress nice every once in a while. Any girl likes to see her brother/friend/boyfriend/etc. in a well-ironed button-up with some nice slacks.

13. PRIDE & PREJUDICE ...that's all I have to say about that (I mean, that should speak for itself). (It's even more impressive if he has read the book.)

14. Tolerate small children as best you can. Meaning, put up with the things that can get annoying. They're children, after all. Show them love and care, teach them how to become a better man than you. (You were once extremely irritating. Get over the obnoxious kids and enjoy getting down to their level - not "for her", but for the good of yourself and others.)

15. Learn to dance! There is nothing sexier than a man who can dance really well. If God did not bless you with the grace of Fred Astaire, at least put forth the effort, it will be greatly appreciated. Always slow dance (even if it's just like you danced in middle school). Also, men, sing to a lady. Even if you're terrible, suck it up! They love to listen to it and will not care what you sound like. It's the thought that counts on this one. (Unless you're just downright terrible, nothing sexy about that.)

16. Kiss her on the forehead.

17. When she's sick, stay up with her. If you can cook (which is *always* a plus), make her some soup. If you can't cook, there's Campbell's soup at hand for you.

18. Pretend to throw her in the pool (or fountain/pond). If you really do throw her in, you'd better jump in yourself. **NOTE** There are some women who just hate this apparently, so you had better do two things: 1) Never allow your buddies be a part of it if you're unsure of how she feels about getting thrown in and 2) You had better know how she feels about it!

19. Hold her hand while you talk, drive, or just for the heck of it (it's the small things that win you big points).

20. LOOK IN HER EYES, NOT AT HER CHEST!!!!!

21. Stupid jokes = awkwardly adorable moments.

22. Tickle her, tease her, let her tease you back without getting all bent out of shape about it.

23. Don't call her hot, or pretty, or cute; call her beautiful, because that's what she is. (I don't think cute is that bad, but definitely stay away from "hot" [it's so overused and superficial] and step "pretty" up to beautiful or gorgeous or stunning or captivating or...)

24. Offer her your jacket/sweatshirt. (Note: you may not see that particular item of clothing for a while, if ever again).

25. Don't be too proud to apologize.

26. It's not stalking to watch her sleep if you fall asleep watching a movie. It is stalking to watch her sleep if you're standing outside her window with night vision goggles.

27. When she feels at her worst, tell her she looks her best.

28. If you're trying to get more than friendship out of the relationship, take it slow and never rush her.

29. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you are completely incapable of calling when you say you will, it just means you are highly incapable of it. There are few acceptable answers to, "Why didn't you call?", & being male is not one of them.

30. Don't check out other girls in front of your female friends/sisters/mother, unless you are sincere when you later ask them if you think she could introduce the two of you for more reasons than you "want to get some". Pull this in front of your girlfriend/fiancee/wife, she has every right to clock you in the jaw.

31. Guys - always offer to pay for the date. No matter how expensive it gets, especially if YOU asked HER on the date. [if she is willing to pay now and again, don't let your "man pride" get in the way of her wanting to give back to you. she should understand money can be tight - especially when you're always buying]

32. Always do everything in your power to keep her as happy as you can. And cheer her up in any way possible. [if she isn't always happy - and I've never met a girl who is - don't be afraid of her and don't be stupid and always, unquestioningly, blame it on PMS. be there WITH her when times are tough and she wants you there.]

33. When walking on the sidewalk, always walk on the outside near traffic. (So everyone has a different opinion for how this started. For some, it's because of the human waste that was getting thrown out the windows when this was happening a century ago. The woman walked under the overhangings extending from the buildings with the guy in the open to take the mess if need be. Others say it's from the guy's scabbard/sword being on his left with the woman walking on the right. As for today, it's the traffic and puddles and what-not. Whatever it is. It's just a courtesy thing, if it seems necessary.)

34. At least do everything in your power to keep cursing to a minimum while around her. If you can, cut it out period while around her, or cut it out of your vocabulary. Women don't want to hear it, guys don't care about it, adults don't want to hear it, it doesn't impress employers, and you sure won't want your children or someone else's to hear it!

35. Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for her to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose her.

36. If any lady is walking alone to her car in a dark parking lot/garage, or is carrying a heavy load, always offer to help walk her to her destination and carry things, if not the entire load. **This may work a lot better and come off non-stalkerish if you at least know the girl you're trying to help. Haha thanks to a LOT of people on this revision.**

37. If a woman says no, let that be her final answer with maybe one question of confirmation after her first answer. Do not pressure or force her in any way after that. Don't make her give in to something she doesn't want to do.

38. Always be honest with her. No woman wants or likes a dishonest man. If you can't be honest with her, she can't trust you, and shows you don't trust her enough to be honest. Trust, honesty and integrity are just as an integral part of a relationship and just as important as love.

39. A man should always genuinely listen to women; no matter how bored or busy the man is. Actively listening to the woman will keep him from pain (and bring the man and woman closer together). This works best, of course, when both the man and the woman actively and equally engage in conversation (this includes listening). For the ladies reading this, please talk - always talk - especially if you are having problems with the relationship and to also avoid making bigger problems.

1 As much as you want to talk about past relationships, keep it to a minimum, unless he asks. You don't want him to feel like he's in competition with anyone.

2 Every guy has a 'geeky' side of him. Whether it be video games, DVD, WoW, anime, football among other sports, or whatever. Don't make fun of him if you don't like it, either tolerate it, or learn to like it. DO NOT try to change him. If he's constantly ignoring you for that hobby of his, tell him.

3 When you hug the boy, hold tight. It doesn't hurt to rest your head on him either.

4 Compromise for movies. Watch his favorite movies and he'll give in for the movie you want to see.

5 Sometimes pay for the date! I know guys hate this, but if he takes you out constantly, it's more than likely he's going to be poor! Treat him sometime. Even if you just buy the snacks!

6 Hold his hand!! Even in the mall when you have a ton of bags, hold his hand.

7 Don't run away from his favorite stores, if you don't like them! Watch him. Gift ideas!!

8 Any time your guy gives you a compliment, don't just roll your eyes. He means it, and you should smile and say thank you.

9 Guys are pressured to take the relationship to a "deeper level". Stupid society. Anyway, if you don't want that in a relationship, tell him before things get too complicated! You can compromise too. If you are uncomfortable with something, STOP.

10 “Fine" or “whatever" is not an appropriate ending to a conversation. Only makes matters worse.

11 Life isn't a drama or a movie. This is real life, people. They don't often come with a sword, armor, and a white steed.

12 NEVER EVER kick them in the place below the belt. Even in a fight or argument, just don't do it.

13 TRUST HIM. Don't scream when he looks at another girl. We know you were goggling at the cute guy that just passed. It's nature. Don't dig through his phonebook, and hey, guys can have female friends just like girls can have male friends. If this makes things awkward, talk about it.

14 This should go without saying. Love him for who he is! Don't worry about what others think. Don't try to change him into what's cool and hip. Some compromises can be made, and tell him that if he ever has a problem you changing him, to tell you.

15 In an argument, just because society stereotypes women as being smarter, more mature, and men as dumb and immature, doesn't mean you are always right.

16 Listen to him. Even if it's something you don't want to hear. Good communication is key.

17 Cook. It may sound stereotypical, but a lot of guys like having a meal cooked for them. A lot of it is the thought, but if you truly are terrible, then maybe this isn't one you should try. If you know how to cook, maybe teach him, or you both can learn together.

18 Sing. Many girls underestimate how well they sing. You don't have to be able to sing 10 octaves or whatever. Don't be embarrassed to sing in front of a guy, just let yourself go a bit and have some fun.

19 A girl has the right to show off her body, but keep your pride and dignity. Be careful! If you show off too much, guys (and just people in general) may get the wrong message and make assumptions.

20 Just like girls want girl time, guys want guy time. Giving your guy space to hang with his friends is not only fair, but it shows you trust him in a way.

21 Respect the guy for who he is, not because he earns your respect. Guys relate to each other on a respect level, and if you want him to open up to you, he has to know that you don't look down on him.

22 Let your guy take pictures of you. He may not admit it, but that picture will probably be with him always. Even if you think it looks horrible.

23 Don't always expect the guy to be the one to call. It is okay to call your boyfriend on occasion, and it shows him that you care about him and are thinking about him. And don't get upset if for some reason he doesn't have time to talk. He does have a life.

24 Remind him that you appreciate all the sweet little things he does for you. Let him know it's not all in vain.

25 If a guy uses a key to let you into his car, reach over and open the door before he gets to it. I know this may be common sense to most girls, but you know, some do not do this. It's a tiny little action that can make a guy go "hey, she's considerate."

26 Let the guy open the door for you or do any other chivalric action. He's fulfilling your wish for a gentleman, don't deny him the chance to do something nice for you. Thank him! You are doing all these wonderful things for him, let him return the favor.

27 Communicate with him. Tell him directly what's on your mind. You can always hope that he'll get your subtle hints or body language, but if it's important, you're better off using words.

28 Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for him to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose him.

29 If they buy you jewelry, wear it around them, even if you don't like it. They will appreciate it, because it's the thought that counts.

30 A word of appreciation now and then regarding his protective/kind/chivalrous attitude will go miles toward the end. You won't regret it.

31 When you are talking to a guy you are interested in, lean in, touch his arm or hand, while your talking. physical touch communicates interest and value.

32 Whether it's from across the room or while your talking, let him know that you are only interested in what he has to say. So look into his eyes and smile.

33 Never judge him based on his friends. They may give some insight, but sometimes guys as well as girls can befriend people that are completely opposite of themselves because they like the change. Don't let who he hangs around with be the deciding factor of your judgments about him. Get to know him.

34 Cute is what he is when he does something goofy, not how you should compliment his looks. Tell him he looks handsome... or any other word you'd use to describe James Bond.

35 Let him know you're on his side and that you support him and believe in him.

36 Call him instead of IMing or e-mail. Let him talk to you and hear your voice. Note: sometimes, it can't be helped. Long distance relationships are sometimes forced to use AIM. In this case, use a camera!! You can see him and hear him.

37 Write him letters! If you want to tell him something but just can't come up with the words in person, take the time to write them down. He'll appreciate it because he can read word for word how you feel for him over and over again, and you know he won't forget it.

38 Girls should do little things for guys. If they ask for a drink, just get it for them cuz they don't ask often. Or surprise them with little gifts (even if homemade). It'll show them that you care about them and thought about them during the day, even if they don't admit it, they like it as much as we do".

39 DON'T CHEAT ON HIM! IT'S NEVER WORTH IT! He WILL find out one way or another and odds are you are through. Whether you were already split up or still dating... you'll be lucky if he still wants to be your friend!

40 Forgive him. Not hundreds of times for the same mistakes, but relationships are going to have problems and there will be apologies on both sides... Forgiveness is a huge part of a relationship. You may not always want to do it, and he will definitely not always deserve it, but then again, we don't necessarily always deserve forgiveness either...

41 If you know that you and the one you are with should end the relationship, have the integrity and respect to tell them that the relationship is over. Do not just leave and never speak to them again.

Wow...so I was reading this..and I think it's amazing...some of these things it would be REALLY nice to have a guy do..ha ha..it's not just all about opening doors...though my brother spent the whole day training me to let him open doors...it was WEIRD..when did he grow up? lol..anyway..read on...let's see how many guys are manly enough to give some of this a go!! lol
~Angela~

Chivalry

When in the company of ladies, there are a variety of rules of etiquette that must be followed, and collectively, these rules are what we call chivalry. In the Middle Ages, chivalry was all about defending a lady's honor, and although no ladies today would expect you to slay someone for her, the spirit is still there. Chivalry is frowned upon by some because it portrays a lady as weak and helpless. I tend to disagree. Chivalry, to me, is the way that a gentleman displays his respect for a lady, and this isn't only during dates or with women that you are interested in. Chivalry is the action that every gentleman should display in the presence of any lady.

For example, one of my friends, Liz, had a mountain of books to take out to her car, but it was a pretty hefty pile of books, and she was pregnant at the time. So I offered to carry her books for her to her car. Now, I'm not married to Liz, and I'm not trying to get into her good graces. It's quite simply what any gentleman would have done.

Chivalry is not something one does all the time. There are times to remain quiet. There are times to offer. There are times to insist. This is the skill of chivalry. Taken too far, chivalry is oppressive to a woman. The goal of chivalry isn't to act like someone's parent. However, taken too lightly, it's without any purpose. There are a series of give and takes, back and forths, that get laid out over the course of an interaction with a person. It can be something as subtle as staring at an empty water glass to something quite obvious as asking you directly to do something. I can't stress this enough: different situations call for different levels of chivalry. You cannot just follow all the rules of chivalry all the time.

If you are with a lady who similarly is knowledgeable on the arts of chivalry, she will leave you a string of hints or cues, and a series of 'thank you's for your efforts. She will also indicate when you have gone too far. I can't tell you much more than that. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a skill.

To put the rules of chivalry quite simply, it is treating every lady you meet like you would treat your own mother. If you do that much, you're doing pretty good, and the rest of this page is just flourish.

Doors

Hold open every door - When you are accompanying a lady, you should open every door for her. If there are two sets of doors, you should hold open the first one, then move ahead to get the second set of doors as well. If you are with a lady who knows what you're doing, she'll wait for you. If there are other people behind her or in front of her, you should hold the door open for them as well. If there is any elderly people, you should also hold the door for them as well. As a general rule, you should hold the door open for everyone until another gentleman comes along, for whom you do not need to hold open the door.

Car doors - You should open the car door for a lady and close it behind her. You should help her getting into and out of a car by offering your hand. This sounds trivial, but often, being in a skirt and in high heels can make getting in and out of a car quite an experience, so your help is functional as well. There's the 'test' that people talk about. If you let a girl into a car and she then unlocks your door for you, then she's a keeper. I'm sure you've heard it. Well, I wouldn't pay any credence to such a test.

Her keys - A lady may give you the key to her home when your date is finished. This is not an invitation inside. She is giving you her keys so you can open her door for her. Let me repeat that. She is giving you her keys so you can open her door for her. If she wants you to come in, she will invite you in. And as long as I'm talking about it, you may not leave her doorstep until she excuses you. That is to say, she will enter her house, turn on her lights, put away her keys, and when she is satisfied with the status of her abode, she will either invite you in or say good night.

Sitting & standing

Offering your seat - No matter where you are or who you are with, if you are seated and there is a lady (or elderly person) standing, you should offer your seat. If she refuses, you should offer more forcefully, so as to overcome a simple polite refusal. If then she still declines, you must respect her wishes. But you may periodically offer again, should she change her mind. Even if there are plenty of seats available, if a lady is standing, you should offer, seeing as she may be desirous of your seat for its cushion, view, whatever.

When to stand - Anytime the lady that you are accompanying rises from her seat, you should stand too. You should remain standing until she is seated or until she leaves the table. If you are seated next to a lady, you should assume the duties that would be performed by a companion. Any time that the lady you are accompanying is standing, you should stand as well. Also, in small settings, such as a parlor or den, when a lady enters the room, all men should stand. In large settings, such as a ballroom or dining hall, this is not necessary.

When to sit - You should seat yourself next to the lady that you accompany, unless you are on a date, where you may sit across. The lady should always be on your left. This goes out the window when your lady is the hostess of an event. When attending a concert or event, you should first inspect the seating and then allow the lady to proceed to the seats first, such that you are always the one closest to the aisle. In these situations, it is permissible to go against the 'on the left' wisdom.

Seating a lady - As noted in the dining section, when seating a lady at a table, you open the chair to her, then push it till it gently brushes the backs of her legs. Then push the chair in as she sits. Every time she leaves the table, you must help her with her chair, and then help her back into the chair. If you have a choice of seats, you should ensure her the best possible lighting or view.

Escorting as a skill

Carry things - You should always offer to carry any burdensome or heavy items for a lady. This includes suitcases, packages, books, bags, even purses, depending on the circumstance. This is especially true when a lady is dressed for a night on the town. Most women's fashion is deleteriously short on pockets. You should get used to the idea that your coat pockets will be full of random things she wishes to bring.

Coats - You should always help a lady in and out of her coat. This is again functional. Often, with some dresses and some coats, getting into and out of a coat is very difficult. Think of when you go to the tailor, and he helps you put on a suit coat. Isn't that so much easier? And you're just wearing a dress shirt. Try that with a dress.

Checking in - When you check your coats, you should take the coat from the lady you are accompanying, and take care of the checking coat process. You should also keep her claim ticket.

A lady on your arm - You should offer a lady your left arm when walking. This is again functional. Walking long distances in heels is pretty impractical, and heels are not the most stable footwear. Always on your left. A word of caution. You should not offer a lady your arm unless your relationship is intimate. That is to say, this is the action of couples who are married, engaged, or have been together for some time. A lady on your arm implies a closeness of relationship that may be inappropriate in some settings. If a lady desires your arm, for functional purposes, offer, but if you are unsure of your relationship, you may consider refraining from offering.

Never leave her side - You should not leave a lady you are accompanying unattended unless she excuses you. For example, if you are off to get her something to drink. Before, this meant that if a lady excused herself from a table, for example, to go to the bathroom, then she had to be escorted there. I don't think anyone would do this nowadays.

Offer your hand - You should always offer your hand in assistance. This is true for when a lady is sitting or rising, but is also true figuratively. You should get her something to eat or drink (as the situation dictates) if she desires such, or other such accommodations.

In her defense - Much like in the Middle Ages, it is upon you to keep your lady secure. However, this duty is more ceremonial than it is actual. No one expects you to kill anyone or slay a dragon. It's more like rescuing her from her nosy uncle with his prying questions. Keep in mind that while protecting your lady is noble, you should not be so vigilant that you act like an overbearing parent. A modern woman will let you know in subtle ways when she wants to be rescued, and when she would rather defend herself.

Out to dinner

Sitting & standing revisited - All those sitting and standing rules apply especially when out to dinner.

A good maitre d' makes life easy - One of the jobs of a maitre d' is to seat you, and part of this job is to lead a lady to the table, seat her appropriately, thus obviating your duty in this regard. In other regards, a maitre d' (short for maitre d'hotel, or master of the house) is the most important person in a restaurant that you will talk to. However, there aren't a lot of restaurants that have a maitre d', but many have the much less important greeter or hostess. A greeter and a maitre d' are in no ways equivilent. Maitre d' is a profession. It'd be like saying that the bellhop and the concierge are the same in a hotel.

There's no maitre d' - Okay, don't panic. Here's what you have to do. Your hostess or greeter will lead the both of you to your table. When you get there, assess the table. If the table is not satisfactory, it is your duty to say so. If the table is satisfactory, then the hostess/greeter will leave. This person will not seat the lady. Seating the lady is now your job. You should seat a lady properly. Part of this is giving her a seat away from traffic, with a pleasant view, or in light that is flattering (see how a maitre d' makes life easier?). You should help her with her chair, and then seat yourself. Most often, you will seat yourself opposite to your date. However, there are situations where you may wish to seat yourself to the side of your date.

Napkins - When seated next to a lady, you should actually open her napkin for her. Open it on your right below the level of the table, then lay it across her lap, using only your right hand. You should not adjust it at all. Simply lay it in her lap. After this is done, you may open your own napkin. I should make a note that I have never done this, and I do not view this as an essential activity of a gentleman. It is included for completeness's sake.

Ordering - I would be very careful about ordering for a lady. If a lady tells you what she wishes to order, then I would check with her that it is alright to give the waiter her order. If not, then the lady should give her own order, and be first. If you place the order for her, give the waiter her order first.

The waitstaff - If anything goes awry with the meal, it is your job to bring this to the attention of the waitstaff. This is especially true if something is wrong with a lady's meal. An escorted lady should never engage the waitstaff to complain. In fact, if you should ever find yourself on a date with a lady of exceptional breeding, she may never engage the waitstaff at all, leaving all such matters to you. The waitstaff should be watching your table, and if you need help, a glance or eye contact should be sufficient. It should go without saying that if something goes terribly wrong, you should not be afraid to ask for the manager (Again, a maitre d' makes life easier...).

Random essentials

An umbrella - Every gentleman should have an umbrella ready in case a lady should need it. The proper way to hold an umbrella for a lady is to hold it in your left and let her come to your arm. She should get the lion's share of the umbrella's coverage. If this means you get a little wet, you get a little wet. While outside in inclement weather, you should have the umbrella over her at all times, such as when she's getting into a car, etc. This is why it's in your left. Because you'll be doing other chivalrous tasks with your right.

A handkerchief or tissues - When I went to St. Bernard's, my mother would always check to make sure that I had tissues. This was true if I was sick, but it didn't matter. I always had to have tissues. It wasn't until 11 years later that I figured it out. The tissues weren't for me. Since then, I carry on me at all times a clean handkerchief and/or tissues. You should offer either to any lady requiring one. You should keep your handkerchief in a neat square to show that it is clean. If it's not clean, you really shouldn't offer.

A lighter - You should never engage in any tobacco product when in mixed company. That includes chew, snuff, pipes, cigars, and of course cigarettes. That being said, a lady you are with may desire a cigarette. If you happen to smoke, it'd be polite to offer, but more than likely, you will have to light her cigarette (since most smokers carry their own cigarettes). There is a proper way to do this. You light your lighter about two feet from her face, cupping the flame with your other hand. Once it is lit, move the lighter (still cupping the flame) within four or five inches of the end of her cigarette, and allow her to move to the flame.

Never kiss & tell - Discretion is the better part of valor.

Stairs - These are a bit funny. Don't follow a woman up stairs. You may walk abreast or even ahead. To any woman who has ever worn a mini skirt, the reasons are obvious.